More! More! (Featuring “Baby Steps” – Original Music by Shelleen Weaver)

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If you have been following my blog, you likely realize that I’m on an odyssey of sorts. The farther I delve into this journey, the more epic I am realizing it is. With every passing year, I am gaining a bit more perspective on the reality that this span of time allotted to each of us in different, unknown quantities is a mere breath of eternity. As this realization grows, the more hyper-focused I am becoming at discovering all that God has deposited in me, His reasons for doing so, and the avenues by which He plans to bring those gifts to maturation.

You know, we all have a tainted view of God. The Apostle Paul tells us that we see through a smudged glass at best. (My paraphrase.) I love how The Message paraphrases it:

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!                                                                                        ~1 Corinthians 13:12 (MSG)

 

 

It’s interesting to me that different people get hung up on different aspects of who God is. For example, many people don’t want to get too close or put too much emphasis on the Holy Spirit… Uncomfortable. I get that. But I’ve learned to make this my prayer. “God, if it doesn’t offend you, don’t let it offend me. Give me the discernment I need to know what is of man and what is of You.”

Then there is Jesus. I find most Christians are comfortable with Him because, well, He became one of us. He gets us, our emotions, struggles, and pain. He took it all on. He’s safe.

But here is something I never saw in myself until recently, and I wonder how many of you might relate. I have lived my life in fear of God the Father. Why is that? In part at least, I believe it’s this. Our earthly fathers are imperfect, but the only measure by which we define the word [Father]. And sadly, likely without realizing it, we project their inadequacies, mistakes, and flaws onto our Heavenly Father. In my case, (and I believe he is humble enough at this point in his life for me to say this), growing up, my dad, although a believer who loves the Lord, had anger issues from unresolved hurts in his own life. So although I knew he loved me for so many reasons and things he did right, I became an egg-shell-walker and avoided him a lot when he was around. The truth is, if I needed something, I was much more inclined to go to my mom about it, because she felt more safe to me.

And that is just what I have done with God. Here was how I approached the throne: “Um…Jesus, could you talk to the Father for me about this? Or even: “Holy Spirit, the Word of God says that You intercede on my behalf to the Father too, so can you take this need to Him?” And when I did feel bold enough to address Him directly (which Jesus died so we may), I did it on my proverbial tip-toes, watching Him closely in case I was overstepping my bounds.

One of my local radio stations airs a daily broadcast by a man with an unmistakably rich baritone voice named Steve Brown. One of the things Steve often says is, “Friends, God is not mad at you.” Do you know that? As crazy as it sounds, I knew that in my head, but until recently, without even realizing it, I didn’t trust it to be completely true in my heart. See I know all too well the failures that I have racked up. The enemy is really good at reminding me, you know. So with those on the forefront of my mind, I imagine they are on the Father’s as well when I approach Him. It’s as if I think my sins have made me fall from His good graces even though I know I’m forgiven. Perhaps I haven’t earned my way back into enough of His favor to ask so much of Him. (Yuck! There is that “religion” again. How did that sneak in?)

Once I wrapped my head around this new epiphany, I asked God (The Father) to forgive me first of all, then to help me tear down the walls I had erected because I didn’t know how. I asked Him to begin wiping the smudges away that made the glass I see Him through so tainted. And this is one of the things He has been teaching me. Jesus’ words, as recorded by Matthew:

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.                                                                                                                          ~Matthew 18:3 (NIV)

 

 

Did you ever think through that? There are so many aspects of a child that apply here, but picture this scenario with me for a moment. A little baby is about to take her first step. She is unsure, teetery, and unstable. Yet, her daddy, whom she trusts and adores is a few feet away with his arms held out, imploring her to come. She stands there for a moment, no doubt tottering between the safety of her current position and the excitement and draw of being close to her daddy. Finally, with enough encouragement, she takes a step toward him, then another, and just as her little legs loose their balance and she is about to plunge head-first onto the floor, he catches her up and to her delight, tosses her into the air before catching her again and holds her close to his heart.

Does he chastise her for the fact that her steps were unstable? Did he wear a frown or scowl at her for not coming right away? Is he angry that she was falling? No way! He is delighted that she came to him! He praises her, and puts her down to try again. Now, with growing confidence, she steps out with less hesitation, motivated by the exhilaration of the coming toss in the air and her daddy’s affirmation and affection.

Do you see where I am headed? This has literally been my experience of late with God the Father. I have discovered that not only is He not scary, but in fact, He delights in me – wobbly, insecure, messy-faced me. And I have also discovered that I love being close to Him. I don’t only experience the grace and love He gives, but am sensing His unmerited favor as well. Grace and favor…that’s another post for another day.

 

 

So what about you? Do you project your experiences with others onto the character of God? Perhaps some of you had a dad that left. Fear of abandonment is likely an issue for you. Do you struggle to trust God? Maybe you were abused in some way leaving you with a hostility toward God. Perhaps it wasn’t a dad who let you down, but a priest, a spouse, a teacher, or a relative whom you looked up to…some person in a position of influence or authority in your life whose flaws you subconsciously project onto our loving Creator. May I challenge you to allow Him to speak for Himself? Ask Him to tear down the walls you have erected. Invite Him to wipe some of the smudges away from the looking glass and reveal His heart for you. Seek Him in His Word for the truth of His character. He is gentle. He is kind. God is love – deeper and more fulfilling than any human is capable of being, let alone comprehending. Take a few baby steps toward Him and give Him permission to blow your mind with His affection. Allow yourself to be undone in His presence. Experience a greater depth of a love more pure, real, and glorious than any tongue can tell. You will grow – closer to Him, as well as in your understanding of who you are. You will begin to understand what the giftings are that He planted in you, and why He put them there. And like the little child who taps her fingers together simultaneously signing and singing out “More! More!”, you will find yourself experiencing your own odyssey, reaching new heights as He tosses you up into the air, basking in His love, and marveling at His favor.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share this post if it blesses you, and click on the picture below to hear one of my latest songs entitled:

Baby Steps

Shine On Harvest Moon (Featuring “Indeed” – Original Music by Shelleen)

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My husband Tom and I could be a case study on how opposites attract. Years ago, I dubbed him with the title: “The Man of No Reaction”. (I might even have written a song about him by that name…{snicker!}) He is a deep thinker and processes internally. I, on the other hand, feel deeply and process verbally. One is not right, and the other wrong; just opposite.

 

 

Some of you have asked me why I refer to myself as a Girdle Burr and Beauty Hunter in the poem on the home page of my website. Well here’s what I mean by that. If there is a burr in our girdle (in other words, something is eating at us), so often we are prone to stuffing it and carrying on with life. Yet we feel irritable or unsettled, sometimes repressing it so successfully that consciously we don’t even know what is making us a grouch pot. That’s the Girdle Burr part.

And what about beauty? With our fast-forward lifestyles, if we aren’t careful, we can easily miss the simple joys all around us. For me this is especially true of nature. It’s not rare for my husband, who doesn’t always relate to the intensity of my elation over some thing of beauty that has captured my delight, to begin singing the old Nirvana song to me: “I wish I were like you, easily amused…”! I don’t mind his teasing, because secretly I hold the opinion that he really does! {Snicker again!} Thus the phrase Beauty Hunter. 

It’s something we are born with, you know. Have you ever observed a child’s gleeful delight in a flowering “weed”, woolly worm bug, or perhaps the moon? When did we loose that? Somewhere along the line, we begin to take the simple joys for granted. Maybe we’ve learned to subdue our emotions, or perhaps we just get too busy with the demands of life to stop and drink in the roses (or dandelions). Perhaps it comes a bit more naturally to my personality than some, but the older I get, the more I am determined to no longer stifle that starry-eyed little girl in me so full of wonder. There is a vast difference between childish and childlike, and I endeavor (much to my husband’s bewilderment at times) to set that childlike little girl free.

 

 

I LOVE autumn, and everything about it. It’s my candle-lighting, sweater-wearing, leaf-crunching, cider-sipping, make-me-happy time of year. It ushers in a flood to my senses of my favorite colors, flavors, and aromas. (Tom bakes a sweet potato pie that makes me swoon!) In the words penned by L. M. Montgomery, “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers”, and I would add, Novembers too.

 

 

And what about those Harvest Moons? The other week Tom and I were driving when we had another “Nirvana Song” moment. It was early evening and the moon was taking center stage directly in front of us as we made our way home. And it was a Harvest Moon indeed! It was so big; so radiant. It took my breath away. It gave me such a thrill, that I couldn’t help, nor did I desire to cap my elation over its beauty. Although Tom certainly appreciated its splendor, he was by no means as captivated as I, nor could he relate to my inability to move on to another subject the rest of the way home. (Poor guy!)

 

 

That got me thinking though. Did you ever consider that the moon itself isn’t very pretty at all? On its own, it is cold; dark; lifeless. Its surface is peppered and scarred with massive craters. There is nothing attracted to it, for it has no gravitational pull. So how can it be that someone who is 238,855 miles away from a giant pock-marked rock in the sky that has ruled the night since the world was set in motion, can find herself so enthralled?

 

 

The moon is beautiful, because it reflects the light of the sun.

 

 

Wow…let that sink in. Are we any different? If we were honest, left to ourselves, our hearts would be as cold, dark, lifeless, and perhaps hard as the boulder in the sky we call moon. Scarred by its lot of pain and cratered with gaping holes, we look to things outside of God to fulfill it- relationships, power, pleasure, fortune, and fame to name a few. And like the moon, our hearts on their own, posses no pull that is really all that attractive to others, especially if they were privy to what they truly harbor deep inside, which is why few are ever really allowed close enough to see.

The difference between our hearts and the moon, however, is that our hearts are alive. Symbolically speaking, they are a part of our soul. (Mind, Will, Emotion, Conscience.) And thankfully, the One who set the heavens (including the moon) into motion, hasn’t finished molding our hearts yet. The snag we so often hit, however, is that there is a condition. You see God is not pushy. He gave us a free will; the choice as to how much or how little of Him we want to absorb.

Allowing His light to shine into the deep crevices of our souls can be painful however. Sin issues in our hearts are difficult to address. We would so often rather ignore the burr in our girdle, suppressing its irritation, than go through the unpleasant and more painful, yet temporary process of allowing Him to expose and purge the ugly. Yet when we come to the place where we surrender and allow God to go to work in our hearts, something amazing happens. Although our hearts may still bear scars, like the moon, they begin to reflect the beauty of the Son. That kind of a heart -scars, craters, and all- is far more attractive than gravity.

 

     But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.

~Ephesians 5:13 (NIV)

 

 

Frankly, I find it quite a relief to know that all I have to do for my cold, dark, lifeless, scarred heart to become a thing of beauty is to yield to the One who is both equipped and desirous to turn it into something breathtaking. Surrender is an ongoing, lifelong process, and it’s often humbling and surely sobering to be confronted with realities we’d rather ignore. But the more we absorb the love of God, the more we reflect His beauty. Then like the old song says, we can “Shine on, Shine on Harvest Moon”, and no matter where you land on the spectrum of deep, analytical thinker to expressive, childlike feeler, you’ll be amazed how the light of Christ reflected in you will attract others to the beauty of our Savior. Let’s reflect on that, shall we?

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Before you click on the song below, a quick update on my book series, Fruit Fables: Although I expected its release by now, I’ve come upon an interesting bend in the road. I’ll keep you posted.

Also, I sure do love your feedback. If these posts bless you, please consider a). passing them on and b). leaving your thoughts in the comment section to let me know how they may be impacting you. (Seriously, am I the only one feeling all this pruning [last blog post] or being confronted with burrs in my proverbial girdle?) And if you want to be sure not to miss any posts, just sign in with your email on my homepage, and they’ll come right to your inbox.

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Wishing you and yours a blessed and reflective Thanksgiving. Now may:

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”      ~Numbers 6:24-26 (NIV)

Click on the picture below to hear one of my latest songs:

Indeed

 

Holy Fruitopia! -Featuring “Time” -original music by Shelleen

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Last month I spent a day with my friend Erica. She lives right on the Susquehanna River, and our goal that day was to kayak across to an island where there is a natural wading pool area to swim in. However, the river is particularly high this year, and since we had my little guy along, we decided to just paddle around near the bank for his sake, then spend the day hiking. Her house is banked right in the side of a mountain that backs up to 300 acres of land owned by the Boy Scouts. When Erica and her husband bought the property for the riverfront, they didn’t realized it came with acreage on top of the mountain for quite some time until a neighbor told them about it! (BONUS! – She just kills me!)

We spent the better part of the afternoon hiking around the Boy Scout property which was fascinating. There were lots of trails of course, bridges and ponds, two old stone cottages that clearly predate the boy scouts, challenge courses, and even an old wild-west kind of town made of false fronted buildings.

 

 

 

We found plenty of wild raspberries, blackberries, and wineberries along the way which added a bit of deliciosity to our day. (Deliciosity should be a word.) But it wasn’t until we reached her property that I found the mountain-top fruitopia!

Her bonus acreage is largely populated with Paw-Paw trees! What are Paw-Paws you ask? They are only the largest native North American fruit, yet most people have never heard of them. If you have, it’s probably because you remember Jungle Book. In fact, Lewis and Clark recorded that they ate many of them on their expeditions here. They taste like a tropical banana custard (ish), and give an amazing twist to a fruit salad. How do I know? We grow them.

 

Our back yard would fool you if you drove by our house which is one of the last two standing in the middle of what is now the commercial end of town. The other house is next door and belonged to my late in-laws. They look like two peas in a weird little pod with our nearest neighbors being a Sheets convenience store and a Comfort Inn. Across the street there is a shopping center which includes a grocery store, three banks, and a Pizza Hut. But step into our back yard and the commercial stores and traffic almost (but not quite) disappear. Our houses are currently on the market, so we have stopped replanting when trees run their course, but it has produced some true Lancaster County bounty over the years ranging from apples, pears, peaches, multiple varieties of  grapes and cherries, strawberries, red and black raspberries, blackberries, figs, plums, apricots, plumcots (a crossbreed between the two), persimmons (one of my favorite) and paw paws! There are nut trees too, most of which feed the squirrels; even a hazelnut tree.

 

     

When I first met my husband, I was studying for a certification in natural health and had just learned about the almost 60 medicinal uses of the paw paw tree. You can imagine my elation when I learned he had them growing in his back yard!

The point is, I of all people should recognize a paw paw tree when I see one. However, it wasn’t until we were half-way across Erica’s property that I realized it. Why you ask? Because for as many as there were, I didn’t identify them until I saw their fruit. (Chew on that for a moment – Pun intended.) Once I saw the fruit, I began to notice that they were everywhere. It was literally a mountain-top grove of paw paws with an occasional hard wood mixed in. I think you know where I’m going with this…

In Matthew 7:15-20 Jesus is talking about how to identify Christ followers from the counterfeits.

You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles?     ~Matthew 7:16 (NIV)

 

 

If we identify ourselves as Christ followers, we ought to be producing a rich harvest of good fruit. There is a big difference between relationship and religion my friends. Jesus hated religion. If you doubt that, go check out the choice words He had for the Sadducees and Pharisees – the “Religious” leaders (counterfeits) of that day. Jesus came because the Father desired to restore relationship with us again. The kind of relationship we had before the fall, when He literally took walks in the garden paradise called Eden with human beings. Sin separated us from that relationship until Jesus Christ took on the wages of our sin by dying on the cross in our place.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.   ~Romans 6:23 (NIV)

The moment Jesus said, “It is finished” and gave up His Spirit, the veil that separated the Holy of Holies, where God’s presence resided separate from the rest of the Temple, was ripped in two from top to bottom. Read the Penteteuch my friends – that veil was not a thin, sheer curtain purchased from K Mart!

This was a declaration by the God of the Universe that we are no longer separated from having a personal relationship with Him. No more religion! Instead, Relationship.

And that’s how we produce fruit. By walking with Him. By talking with Him. By listening to Him. By spending time in worship and just abiding in His presence. (If this sounds like work to you or something you should check off a to-do list, that’s religion. Walking with God in relationship is an adventure like no other!) Most importantly, we produce fruit by living a life yielded to His will and way – a life of surrender. If you have trusted Christ for Salvation, the Bible says that the Holy Spirit of God resides within you, and that the fruit of the Spirit of God should be growing in abundance.

 

Just as the sweetness of the aroma and the beauty of fruit itself causes us to desire it’s deliciosity, (yes, I think that word should go in the dictionary), so should the fruit (evidence of God’s indwelling Spirit) cause others to desire to walk in relationship with our Savior as well. Jesus’ words:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.                                                                           ~John 15:5 (NIV)

 

I’m sorry to say that all to often unbelievers find themselves in a forest of paw paws (Christians) without even knowing it. Or worse, they smell something bad (rotten fruit) because that Christ follower hasn’t allowed Him to do the pruning in their lives that is needed to cause them to flourish in the way the Gardener intends for them to. (There is that “surrender” word again.)

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patients, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.                                         ~Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)

 

I am excited to tell you that without any unforeseen delays, my first book is set to be published next month! It is entitled, FRUIT FABLES, and is a treasury of 9 short children’s stories written in a catchy poetic fable form unpacking each one of the meanings of the Fruit of the Spirit. I am told that although they are cute and clever little stories, they also carry a lot of meat. I’m interested in the feedback I receive from adults just as much as the children whom they are reading to. The Bible says that the Word of God does not go out and return void, but accomplishes what God intended in the hearts of those on whose ears it has fallen. Children’s stories they may be, but the truths from God’s Word that they impart are ever so powerful.

I don’t claim for a minute to have reached the pinnacle of success in these attributes. Sadly, I have dropped more rotten fruit from my branches than I care to admit causing me to require a great deal of pruning. And just about the time I think I’m doing well, God allows another situation in my life that launches me right back into the refining fire. Hear me…we are all a work in progress. I know the ugliness of my sinful heart and my weaknesses are many. But I am a woman whose roots run deep. I stand forgiven with my feet firmly planted on the solid Rock of my Salvation, Jesus Christ, and I know the joy (one of the fruits of the Spirit) of walking in relationship with my Savior.

I hope you know that joy as well. I hope you know Him. I hope you are a willing participant, uncomfortable as it may be at times, to the pruning necessary to allow you to live a life of abundance – a Holy kind of Fruitopia so to speak. I aim to reap a rich harvest. How about you?

 

 

Stay tuned. (There’s a place on my home page to subscribe to this blog.) I’ll be sure to let you know when FRUIT FABLES becomes available and where you can pick up your own copy (or 2, or 10 – wink!). Until then, know that no matter what season you may find yourself in, there is a time for everything under the sun – sowing, growing, reaping, pruning, resting, etc.. But no matter what season we find ourselves in, it’s always time to walk in relationship with the Lover of our Souls. Click below and listen in to me telling the little bird that lives in my coo-coo clock to go home and stop interrupting my time with Jesus. And if this blesses you, I’d appreciate it if you pass along this post as well as your feedback.

 

The “Blessed” Is Yet To Come! Featuring “Come Away” & “Confide in Me” – Original Music by Shelleen

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I was a child myself when I had my first child, which perhaps is a story for another day. There are pros and cons to everything, but suffice it to say that entering motherhood at the tender age of 18, having another at 24, then being a single-mom for a few years nbefore adding my caboose at 34 has never allowed me much in the way of down time. I don’t regret for a moment all the time invested in my children. In fact, I often long to hit rewind and rock my babies to sleep once more. But with the understanding that there is precious little I have found more fulfilling and rewarding than being my kids’ mom, I have definitely felt a lack in my life of time for me. In fact, for most of us who are blessed to be called by that name (mom), “me time” is not even in our vocabulary, let along a blip on our radar screen.

But as I recently crested another hill in my life called the 40’s, a new concept began to tug at me with the persistence of a child at a mother’s apron strings. If you’re guessing that I wanted some “me time”, well, sort of.

A woman of wise counsel, of whom I’m blessed to call my spiritual mother, mentioned a while back that she goes away for a few days alone at the end of each year to seek God for His vision for the next. This resonated with me deeply. I would love to do something like that, but with children and holidays, how could I? Then it dawned on me that my birthday is my new year, and an idea began to take shape.

A week before my 40th birthday arrived, I did something I have never done before. I loaded my Jeep with the necessary supplies that included my Bible, journal, and keyboard, and headed East- alone. And I didn’t stop until I arrived on the far side of New Holland, Pennsylvania at the home of a retired missionary friend (another one of my spiritual mentors). Nestled in the woods just behind their home was my destination – Uppa’s Cabin – a 400 sq. ft. gem that was once home to her late father-in-law.

 

 

There is so much I would love to tell you that transpired over the next four days as I unplugged from the daily grind, social media, even my family, and just spent time abiding with my Lord. Although I came with the full intention of leaving my agenda out of it and simply listening to what God had to say to me, I must confess that I wrestled at first with two issues in particular that were heavy on my heart. God was so gracious in His willingness to shed light on those things first, giving me the peace I needed to lay them aside with a newfound confidence that those cares were safe in His, so I could then receive all that He had for me. We are told in Scripture that if we seek Him, we will find Him, if we seek Him with all of our hearts. That is what I was there to do, and wow, did He ever hold up His end of the bargain. A blog post is an inadequate place to share all that I would love to about those four precious and rich days I spent alone with God. There are some things that will forever just be between Him and I and others that I will most likely be speaking on as God gives me opportunities to share in ministry settings, etc… But I do want to tell you about something special that happened that weekend, that although may not seem like much, was very precious and wonderful to me.

On day two, I threw on my sneakers and went for a walk. Although I live only 10 minutes away (oh, didn’t I mention that?), this cabin is on the outskirts of town in what we refer to as the “Welsh Mountains”, and I don’t know my way around those back roads. After a few turns, I began to descend a hill when I caught a glimpse of the sun gleaming off a body of water. As a rounded a bend at the bottom, I was thrilled to find a small log cabin with white chinking that sat at the end of a lane on the far side of a large pond. It looked like I had just stepped back two-hundred years in history. I could see two people working outside, but unfortunately they were beyond earshot, or I would have definitely struck up a conversation. The temperature was in the high-70’s and the early June sun was glistening off the pond like diamonds as the wind rippled the water. Everything in me ached to go sit by that pond. Yet, I walked on.

 

 

As the following morning dawned, the song of birds woke me to a day as gorgeous as the former. After breakfast and time in God’s Word, I couldn’t resist retracing my steps of the day before. As I descended the hill again, I was astounded to see that I wasn’t the only one drawn to that beautiful place. I stood in awe, not caring that I looked like a creeper, and began taking pictures. Soaring above this magnificent setting with an air of majesty was a beautiful bald eagle.

 

 

As silly as this sounds, I felt like God was giving me a birthday present, and I was enthralled! Now I really wanted to sit by that pond! I lingered for a few more moments, but I knew I must go on. As I rounded the bend, I paused one more time to take in the simple grandeur of the setting, when a car coming down the road slowed to a stop, and an elderly woman put down her window. In my elation, I pointed up to the sky, and said, “Look! There’s an eagle up there over that pond. Look at this whole setting with the little log cabin, and this beautiful day… Isn’t it amazing?”

“Oh, I’m glad you like it”, she replied. “That’s my home. Hop in. I’ll give you a tour!”

I ended up not only making a new friend that day with a sweet and spunky 74-year-young widow, but at her invitation to make myself at home, I was literally able to sit by that pond all afternoon.

 

 

As I lay in the grass with my sneakers off and toes sinking into the cool mud, I felt so loved. I hadn’t even asked God if He would make a way for me to sit by that pond. As little of a thing as it was, He saw my desire and made it happen. I giggled like a child as I lay on my stomach splashing my hands in the water and digging stones out of the mud with my fingers. And just to prove all the more that this was no random happenstance – although my new friend told me she had never seen an eagle over her property before, what I first thought to be one eagle coming and going, ended up being four! I believe it was a mother with three of her young. I was even able to get a picture where they are all in the frame at once. (Look closely.)

 

 

It was simply glorious. Like David, my meditation of Him {God} was indeed sweet that afternoon as my mind rested on these familiar scriptures:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul…                                   ~Psalm 23:1-3a (KJV)

and…

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.      ~Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

 

Admittedly, the first thing I did when I arrived at my friend’s cabin a few days before was sit down and weep. It wasn’t over any one issue but over the many billows that have rolled in (and at times over) my life throughout the last several years. Nor was it the first and likely not the last time my tears were spilled over present pressures and past wounds. This kind of weeping was more of a cleansing that needed to happen. I came with a heavy sort of weariness, and a desperate need for my soul to find not only restoration, but inspiration and direction as well. One by one, every single concern, fear, question, need, and hope I carried to that place was addressed. I’m still processing all that God showed me during that time. And like Mary Magdalene, having experienced the grace and love of my Teacher, all I want to do now is leave the dishes and sit at the feat of my “Rabboni”.

How about you? Does this sound like the romantic ramblings of a woman gone mad, or like the fresh cup of water that you yourself so desperately need to drink from? In Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV), Jesus said:

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”                                                        

What? You don’t have a friend with a cabin on the other side of town? Jesus’s half-brother James tells us in the book of Scripture that bears his name that “We have not, because we ask not”. So my friend, if you desire time alone with Jesus, ask. Maybe someone will offer out of the blue to take your children for a week like they did my friend right after I shared my experience with her, leaving her at home with time like she hasn’t had in years to breathe in the presence of God.  Maybe you’ll get a beach house for a week. After all, God knows what makes you tick. Perhaps something that fills your time will suddenly be removed from your schedule (even feeling like a loss…at first). Maybe God will simply convict you that your schedule needs to shift so you can align your priorities placing Him at the forfront of each day to seek Him first. It seems like when we do this, things just fall into place for the rest of the day anyhow, doesn’t it? I don’t know what God will go about answering that request, but I know this: If you sincerely seek Him with all of your heart, He will never go back on His Word and leave you stranded.

Can I just encourage you; challenge you; even dare you to forget about the idea of “me time” and give God permission to override your busy schedule and draw you to Himself in a new way? If so, you too will experience the light that chases away the darkness from your path, know the rest He alone can provide for your soul, and experience the kind of love and delight only found in His presence.

You better believe I’ll be doing this again next year. I can’t wait to turn 41!

Confide in Me is a prayer in the form of a song that I wrote while in the cabin waiting to hear from God. I hope you make it your prayer as well.

About Shelleen

Wife, Mother, Friend, and Daughter
Author, Speaker, Singer, Songwriter
Girdle Bur and Beauty Hunter
Life that's been redeemed
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