Somebody needs to hear this… (featuring “Redemption Song” -original music by Shelleen)

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Every time I proof-read over this post I am riding the delete button. God is impressing on my heart that tonight, it is better to let my words be few, and instead allow Him to communicate through the language of music. So I’m breaking all the “blog rules” and resisting the temptation to spew all that wants to bubble out through my fingers; No pretty pictures that will delay me getting out this post either. I feel like someone out there needs it now. God gave me this song ten days ago, and all I want to do is play it. May He speak to you through it as He has me.

p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section, and I’d be honored if you pass it on…

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Getting Deep… (Featuring original music by Shelleen)

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When I was 16 I got the invitation to be in a pageant. Those of you who knew me then (and now) know that I am pretty much the antonym of “pageant girl”. I grew up in what we called “the sticks”, and was far more comfortable with an audience watching me slam a basketball down a court, than I was dancing in a production number. I still only wear make-up about twice a week, and I was (and remain at times) about as unpolished as a bucket in a horse barn. The first time I got the invite, I read it to a friend whom I knew would also find the idea of me entering a pageant hilarious, before pitching it in the girls’ bathroom trash can at school. But when a second letter came I was by myself, and this time curiosity got the best of me. As I read over the details, it dawned on me that I had nothing better to do that summer, and that perhaps this sort of thing could go a long way in helping me overcome stage-fright. For those two reasons alone, I filled out the application. I still believe that I ended up winning the title of “Miss Teen of Pennsylvania” that year simply because I didn’t intend to. Had I felt the same pressure the other contestants who really cared about it did, my attempt would have made a fool look distinguished.

 

(Me with a group of our men in uniform. One of my favorite pictures from my pageant days.)

There were 6 preliminary categories we competed in. Each one made up 15% of our score – all except the judges interview which accounted for a whopping 25%. And get this: It was only 3 minutes long! Just three minutes to make or break you. My first question came at me before I had a chance to sit down:

“Shelleen. That’s an interesting name. Where did it come from?”

After telling them the short version of the story behind my first and middle names (Shelleen Sue) and how part of it came from a former pet monkey belonging to my dad (…Yep, that’s a cliff-hanger – Another story for another day.), they launched into a series of questions reminiscent of a round of Jeopardy with Alex Trebek.

“If you had five minutes with the President, what would you talk to him about?”

“What would you do if you had a friend who was suicidal?”

And on they went until we came to this one:

“If you were a color, what color would you be and why?”

Now remember, we’re talking about three minutes. There was no time to “think before you speak” or get stuck trying to come up with an impressive answer for those questions. I figured the best approach in my attempt to interview well was to be honest and say the first thing that came to mind, all the while praying that it wasn’t stupid or offensive. Thankfully, I didn’t answer (with the voice of Rainbow Bright): “Yellow, because it’s the color of sunshine and happiness” or some such other kind of pat “World Peace” answer. Instead I heard myself saying,

“Midnight Blue.”

“Why?”, they questioned simultaneously while their heads both cocked to the side and eyebrows bunched quizzically with impressive synchronization.

Truth be told, I had no idea. It was just the first color that popped into my head.

“I’m a poet”, I heard myself respond. “And I think it’s deep.”

Perhaps they still wonder what I meant by that. I know I still do. (Snicker!) But there is something else with greater depth that has also left me pondering for a very long time…until recently.

There is a passage in the book of Psalms that says this: “Deep calls to deep”. The poetic fiber to that line of Scripture has always captivated me. It has a tone to it that is, well… deep. So deep in fact, that I didn’t understand what it was talking about, captivating me all the more. It remained a bit of a mystery to me.

 

 

In the mean time… the pace of life has a funny way, especially if you’re a mother, of leaving no time for you. (Can I get an Amen?) It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking care of everyone and everything else while your own care needs are, well… Oh, there they are- Right were I dropped them. And Ouch! They just got run over by a bus. One day you wake up and realize that you are about to turn (#blah!), and you are beginning to look like it too. As if being a wife a mother of three isn’t enough to make me wish I could clone myself, the past few years have been intense ones in our home. Our 8 year old nephew came to live with us until he went to be with the Lord, as did my mother-in-law until she joined him, and my own parents’ health issues were among the reasons they came to live with us for a year and a half. An alarming number of “trials of many kinds” have invaded our lives, testing and refining us at what has felt like warp speed. And although I’m told that it is not visible in my countenance, lines that have intruded on my face tell the story well.

The toll these last few years have taken has caused me to finally realize that I am doing no one a service if I don’t find a way to include myself on the priority list. That can be hard, because then one has to figure out what must be deleted to make room – room for exercise, proper sleep, a massage once in a while, and more time for friends. I really want to learn how to play the guitar, blow the dust off a few books from the “I’m going to read that” pile(s) longing for the revival of the Dewey Decimal System, etc… And all that is well, and good, and necessary. But even if I was able to consistently pull all that off, while still being the wife and mom I need to and adore being, it still falls short. It’s missing depth.

While I am working on those things (well, not the guitar quite yet), one thing that these challenges have caused me to do (because I needed it to sustain me) is become more consistent than ever in is spending time in God’s presence. I find nothing more rejuvenating than feasting on His Word or worshiping at my piano, because those things penetrate far beyond what any deep-tissue massage every could. They feed my spirit. And when you feed your spirit, you feed your body and soul as well.

I’m no theologian, and I could be made to stand corrected (a wise and discerning mentor of mine follows this blog to make sure I’m on track), but I think I am beginning to understand what the author was talking about when he says in Psalm 42:7-8 (NIV)…

Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

 By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

I think it’s saying that through the endless onslaught of trials, my spirit is drawn to the hope, love, comfort, and life found in my Savior. It’s in these difficult times that we often hear Him calling to us most clearly; perhaps because trials cause us to run to Him. Let’s face it. He is the only One who will be able to bring about real “World Peace” and it is coming my friends. But for now, in the midst of the chaos, we can rest in the peace that only comes from Jesus Christ. For when we earnestly seek Him, He is faithful to reveal Himself – Sometimes by challenging us to grow in faith and step out of the boat; Sometimes by carrying us; Sometimes by is lifting us up on wings like eagles; Sometimes by melodiously quieting us with his love beside gentle streams.

Deep calls to deep. His Spirit calls out to ours. Are you listening?

~The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;                ~Lamentations 3:25 (NIV)

Now listen on, if you are so inclined, and please pass this post along to your friends if you feel it is worth a share. (I assure you this song is not as painful as the expression that is caught on my face below!) Not surprisingly, I entitled it “Deep”.

 

The Power of Worship Through Pain (Featuring Original Music by Shelleen)

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“Well, all we can do now is pray.”

We’ve all heard this phrase. Perhaps it’s escaped from your own lips; most likely when you’ve exhausted your own resources and strength in whatever battle you are fighting. If you are willing, read on…I’d like to shed some perspective, then add a twist onto that statement if I could.

Ponder with me for a moment… Is prayer some sort of desperate last resort that we pull from the bottom of our emergency kit when nothing else in our power can be done? Certainly not. That being said, when I hear the words, “All we can do now is pray,” I feel compelled to translate that statement: (brace yourself)

All we can do now is take our hands off this beyond-our-control situation, and place our hope in the One who is both able and eager to do exceedingly more than we can ask or imagine – the Creator of the universe; the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, who loved us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to this cruel world to bear the weight and punishment for all the collective sin of humanity in our place, conquering sin and death. This same God is the One we are turning to for help when all finite human effort has failed, and we preface that with “all we can do”?

In reality, grasping the realization that our battle is in God’s hands, not our own limited ones, is key.  Now we are free to step back and witness a miracle. Perhaps it won’t be packaged the way we envisioned, but even if it isn’t clear to us right away, the place we stand (or kneel) has a beautiful vantage point. This place of surrender is one of honor, for it is there that we are privileged to watch God unfold His creative beauty out of our pain.

That said, for those of us who struggle with leaving the battle to the Lord, and feel the need to wield a sword, I have discovered that there is indeed something else we can do beyond prayer…

 

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WORSHIP!

David, flawed as he was, was a man after God’s heart who understood the power of worship. He wisely appointed a group of men as chief musicians at the temple. Among them was a man named Asaph who founded a school for poets and musical composers. Specifically, Asaph composed lyrics for worship (authoring some of the Psalms) and played percussion on the cymbals. (That’s right, he was a drummer.)  He wrote a song in which he prophesied these words, teaching us that thanking God in the midst of our battle prepares the way for Him to act.

“He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God.”

     ~Psalm 50:23 (NIV)

Notice the word sacrifice.

I understand what it is like to be so burdened by a situation that it is hard to function. I embellish nothing when I tell you that I have been in that desolate place where my own deep well of tears went dry. I know the kind of heaviness that depletes your strength to the point that whispering is work. I am convinced that when we are in those deep valleys, in the midst of circumstances that don’t call for thanksgiving, when we choose to offer thanks, even if it’s only a whisper of praise to the One who is always worthy of it, that He receives it as a pleasing sacrifice, motivating Him to action.

When we worship God in the midst of our trials, we are thanking Him ahead of time for whatever it is that He is about to do. It’s a release of faith. We are saying, “God, I don’t see it yet, but I trust you. I am thanking You in advance based on the the unfailing promises in your Word.” We see this beautifully demonstrated by one of the unknown authors in the book of Psalms who clearly loved the precepts of Scripture:

                                         I rejoice in your promise like one who finds great spoil.

                                                                         ~Psalm 119:162 (NIV)

Notice the writer didn’t say, “I rejoice in what you already did for me, because the battle is over. The threat is gone, I’ve plundered the enemy camp, and (whoo-hoo!) I now have all this crazy loot (spoil) to play with.” On the contrary, he was rejoicing beforehand. He knew, based on God’s character and His Word that victory was a done deal, though it hadn’t yet come into fruition. Also take note of where the passage is found in scripture. In a song! He was offering a sacrifice of praise in the midst of his trial. Faith like this prepares the way for God to move the mountains that we could never scale, circumvent, or tunnel through.

Do you have a situation that you are desperate for God to intervene in? I encourage you to loosen your grip, drop your burden at the foot of His throne, and leave it there. His Word tells us that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groaning that there are no words for, and that Christ, who has the empathetic perspective of having walked not only a mile in our shoes, but crawled His way to Calvary, now sits at the right hand of the Father interceding for us as well. Sometimes we need to give our situation to God in prayer, laying our burden down at his feet, then lift up our empty hands, now free, and worship Him!

Understand the difference here. God is omnipresent; He is everywhere. His name is Emmanuel, translated, “God with us”. But His Word tells us that He sits enthroned on our praises. The throne is where a king rules from. It’s where business gets done. Because God inhabits our praises, when we begin to worship He manifests Himself in a way that we become aware of His presence, and we can be sure of this: something is about to change. It may be our situation, or it may be us. (Just saying.) But something happens as we offer a sacrifice of praise to God in the midst of tribulation, releasing faith into our circumstance. It only takes a mustard seed friends.

 

(Disclaimer: A mustard seed is much smaller than the picture above.)

This beginner-blogger is well beyond the ideal blog word-count already, and it’s all I can do to will myself off this soap-box and resist peppering you with examples from Scripture on the power of worship through pain, let alone my own experience. Perhaps I’ll do a series on that very subject in the future, but for now: If this post spoke to you; If you find yourself in a situation that leaves you desperate for God’s intervention, may I encourage you today to move beyond “Well, all I can do now is pray…”

Oh yes, pray. Like thunder, pray indeed! Fervently hound the gates of Heaven friends. But once you’ve placed that burden before the Lord, may I encourage you to step out in faith, and flood Heaven with a sacrifice of praise? In doing this, though the storm may still rage around you, you’ll find yourself at peace in His presence, as you trust the One who is always faithful to act on your behalf.

 “The Lord is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, 

                                                                                                                ~Exodus 15:2a (NIV)

p.s. I’m eager to hear from you…your experience, thoughts, and feedback are welcome in the comment section. Also, please feel free to forward this post to your friends in general or someone whom you specifically feel it would bless. If you want to follow my posts, you can sign up on my website, www.hiswordweaver.com. I’m honored you took the time to read, and now to listen…

I Hope You Know … (Featuring Original Music by Shelleen)

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On a lunch date with my husband last week, I was startled by bits of a conversation I overheard between two middle-aged women sitting nearby.

“I hate this time of year”,  one blurted. “I have good reasons for it too…”

If she went on to detail those reasons, I didn’t catch them, but I do remember being shocked at the bitterness in her tone as I heard her saying through gritted teeth, “I just have to get through it.”

My reaction to that, in part is, I get it. Holidays are suppose to be times of laughter and cheer; time spent with loved ones; a season of giving; goodwill and peace, etc…

 

 

But what if life has pitched you a curve-ball recently, and you are gripped with sorrow? What if your loved ones haven’t been so lovely? Or what if circumstance has kept you from being together, or worse, they are gone by an act of their own will… or God’s, because they are now with Him? Or how about those whose finances are in upheaval leaving them unable to provide for their families, let alone to give the gifts they feel compelled to? In fact the only “Goodwill” they may be experiencing this holiday season is the store itself.

The truth is, none of these are “what if’s” for me. I’ve either been there or am there on each point mentioned. That’s why I empathize with what that woman was saying to a certain extent.  What I don’t know are the details of the circumstances that are making her so bitter, nor is she acquainted with mine. I don’t have to know the intricacies of her struggles, or yours, and you don’t have to understand my own for us all to agree however, that pain is gripping and stress is for real.

But there is a difference between that poor woman’s viewpoint and my own – a hinge that makes all the difference in the world. It’s a small word, but it carries so much weight -literally. In fact, if you have enough of this little word of which I speak, it will remove that hefty burden from your shoulders, along with the knots that go with it. So enough already, right? What’s the word?

 

                                                                                                 

                                                                                                    Hope

So simple. Are you disappointed? Where you thinking I was going to reveal something more mysterious, deep, or profound? I for one am glad it’s not complicated. I like simple. So does Jesus. In fact he told us that all we have to do to inherit the Kingdom of God was to have simple faith in Him like that of children. – Little children. You know… like kindergarten or maybe even preschoolers. The age where when you ask them what they want to be when they grow up, you still get answers like: “I’m going to be an astronaut… or a ballerina… or president… because no one has filled their heads with doubts yet.

The great thing about having that simple faith in our Savior is that it’s companion is hope. Not the kind of hope that you must manufacture within because you are determined to never say die. This hope I refer to is a warm, enduring flame that burns within the soul of the person who places their confidence in the One whose ways are higher than ours – So that when calamity strikes, and we find ourselves in upheaval, or when disappointments or grief overwhelm our senses, we don’t grope around or swing our angry fits in the dark, because the flame burns so brightly. It beckons us to come closer, stay warm, and stare at it’s beauty, knowing that the One that precious hope is founded on is in control of our circumstances, while our soul finds rest in His peace.

 

 

Oh yes, peace. The kind we celebrate at Christmas. Not the kind of peace that is limited to our finite, human understanding, but rather the peace that envelopes our hearts with an assurance that is indeed so blessed.

And there you have it: The reason why I will always love and celebrate this season, no matter what kind of emotion may be merited from circumstances past, present, or future. My soul will always have reason to break forth into joy. The little babe whose birth we celebrate grew into a man who was despised and rejected by His own creation. We mocked Him, scourged Him, spit on Him, and hung Him on a tree. He willingly bore the weight of my sin and shame; your’s too if you’ve given it to Him. But death had no grip on Him. He conquered it. Thus giving us hope for the future, and peace in all circumstance, because He lives. And that friends, is cause for great and joyous celebration!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.                                                    ~Romans 15:13 (NIV)

 

And now I hope (ok…yes, pun intended.) you can get past my piano banging while I get past the goofy face I’m making in the video below, and be blessed with the message in this very rough version of my latest song called

He Came…

(p.s. I welcome your feedback and Merry Christmas!)

About Shelleen

Wife, Mother, Friend, and Daughter
Author, Speaker, Singer, Songwriter
Girdle Bur and Beauty Hunter
Life that's been redeemed
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