The “Blessed” Is Yet To Come! Featuring “Come Away” & “Confide in Me” – Original Music by Shelleen

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I was a child myself when I had my first child, which perhaps is a story for another day. There are pros and cons to everything, but suffice it to say that entering motherhood at the tender age of 18, having another at 24, then being a single-mom for a few years nbefore adding my caboose at 34 has never allowed me much in the way of down time. I don’t regret for a moment all the time invested in my children. In fact, I often long to hit rewind and rock my babies to sleep once more. But with the understanding that there is precious little I have found more fulfilling and rewarding than being my kids’ mom, I have definitely felt a lack in my life of time for me. In fact, for most of us who are blessed to be called by that name (mom), “me time” is not even in our vocabulary, let along a blip on our radar screen.

But as I recently crested another hill in my life called the 40’s, a new concept began to tug at me with the persistence of a child at a mother’s apron strings. If you’re guessing that I wanted some “me time”, well, sort of.

A woman of wise counsel, of whom I’m blessed to call my spiritual mother, mentioned a while back that she goes away for a few days alone at the end of each year to seek God for His vision for the next. This resonated with me deeply. I would love to do something like that, but with children and holidays, how could I? Then it dawned on me that my birthday is my new year, and an idea began to take shape.

A week before my 40th birthday arrived, I did something I have never done before. I loaded my Jeep with the necessary supplies that included my Bible, journal, and keyboard, and headed East- alone. And I didn’t stop until I arrived on the far side of New Holland, Pennsylvania at the home of a retired missionary friend (another one of my spiritual mentors). Nestled in the woods just behind their home was my destination – Uppa’s Cabin – a 400 sq. ft. gem that was once home to her late father-in-law.

 

 

There is so much I would love to tell you that transpired over the next four days as I unplugged from the daily grind, social media, even my family, and just spent time abiding with my Lord. Although I came with the full intention of leaving my agenda out of it and simply listening to what God had to say to me, I must confess that I wrestled at first with two issues in particular that were heavy on my heart. God was so gracious in His willingness to shed light on those things first, giving me the peace I needed to lay them aside with a newfound confidence that those cares were safe in His, so I could then receive all that He had for me. We are told in Scripture that if we seek Him, we will find Him, if we seek Him with all of our hearts. That is what I was there to do, and wow, did He ever hold up His end of the bargain. A blog post is an inadequate place to share all that I would love to about those four precious and rich days I spent alone with God. There are some things that will forever just be between Him and I and others that I will most likely be speaking on as God gives me opportunities to share in ministry settings, etc… But I do want to tell you about something special that happened that weekend, that although may not seem like much, was very precious and wonderful to me.

On day two, I threw on my sneakers and went for a walk. Although I live only 10 minutes away (oh, didn’t I mention that?), this cabin is on the outskirts of town in what we refer to as the “Welsh Mountains”, and I don’t know my way around those back roads. After a few turns, I began to descend a hill when I caught a glimpse of the sun gleaming off a body of water. As a rounded a bend at the bottom, I was thrilled to find a small log cabin with white chinking that sat at the end of a lane on the far side of a large pond. It looked like I had just stepped back two-hundred years in history. I could see two people working outside, but unfortunately they were beyond earshot, or I would have definitely struck up a conversation. The temperature was in the high-70’s and the early June sun was glistening off the pond like diamonds as the wind rippled the water. Everything in me ached to go sit by that pond. Yet, I walked on.

 

 

As the following morning dawned, the song of birds woke me to a day as gorgeous as the former. After breakfast and time in God’s Word, I couldn’t resist retracing my steps of the day before. As I descended the hill again, I was astounded to see that I wasn’t the only one drawn to that beautiful place. I stood in awe, not caring that I looked like a creeper, and began taking pictures. Soaring above this magnificent setting with an air of majesty was a beautiful bald eagle.

 

 

As silly as this sounds, I felt like God was giving me a birthday present, and I was enthralled! Now I really wanted to sit by that pond! I lingered for a few more moments, but I knew I must go on. As I rounded the bend, I paused one more time to take in the simple grandeur of the setting, when a car coming down the road slowed to a stop, and an elderly woman put down her window. In my elation, I pointed up to the sky, and said, “Look! There’s an eagle up there over that pond. Look at this whole setting with the little log cabin, and this beautiful day… Isn’t it amazing?”

“Oh, I’m glad you like it”, she replied. “That’s my home. Hop in. I’ll give you a tour!”

I ended up not only making a new friend that day with a sweet and spunky 74-year-young widow, but at her invitation to make myself at home, I was literally able to sit by that pond all afternoon.

 

 

As I lay in the grass with my sneakers off and toes sinking into the cool mud, I felt so loved. I hadn’t even asked God if He would make a way for me to sit by that pond. As little of a thing as it was, He saw my desire and made it happen. I giggled like a child as I lay on my stomach splashing my hands in the water and digging stones out of the mud with my fingers. And just to prove all the more that this was no random happenstance – although my new friend told me she had never seen an eagle over her property before, what I first thought to be one eagle coming and going, ended up being four! I believe it was a mother with three of her young. I was even able to get a picture where they are all in the frame at once. (Look closely.)

 

 

It was simply glorious. Like David, my meditation of Him {God} was indeed sweet that afternoon as my mind rested on these familiar scriptures:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul…                                   ~Psalm 23:1-3a (KJV)

and…

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.      ~Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

 

Admittedly, the first thing I did when I arrived at my friend’s cabin a few days before was sit down and weep. It wasn’t over any one issue but over the many billows that have rolled in (and at times over) my life throughout the last several years. Nor was it the first and likely not the last time my tears were spilled over present pressures and past wounds. This kind of weeping was more of a cleansing that needed to happen. I came with a heavy sort of weariness, and a desperate need for my soul to find not only restoration, but inspiration and direction as well. One by one, every single concern, fear, question, need, and hope I carried to that place was addressed. I’m still processing all that God showed me during that time. And like Mary Magdalene, having experienced the grace and love of my Teacher, all I want to do now is leave the dishes and sit at the feat of my “Rabboni”.

How about you? Does this sound like the romantic ramblings of a woman gone mad, or like the fresh cup of water that you yourself so desperately need to drink from? In Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV), Jesus said:

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”                                                        

What? You don’t have a friend with a cabin on the other side of town? Jesus’s half-brother James tells us in the book of Scripture that bears his name that “We have not, because we ask not”. So my friend, if you desire time alone with Jesus, ask. Maybe someone will offer out of the blue to take your children for a week like they did my friend right after I shared my experience with her, leaving her at home with time like she hasn’t had in years to breathe in the presence of God.  Maybe you’ll get a beach house for a week. After all, God knows what makes you tick. Perhaps something that fills your time will suddenly be removed from your schedule (even feeling like a loss…at first). Maybe God will simply convict you that your schedule needs to shift so you can align your priorities placing Him at the forfront of each day to seek Him first. It seems like when we do this, things just fall into place for the rest of the day anyhow, doesn’t it? I don’t know what God will go about answering that request, but I know this: If you sincerely seek Him with all of your heart, He will never go back on His Word and leave you stranded.

Can I just encourage you; challenge you; even dare you to forget about the idea of “me time” and give God permission to override your busy schedule and draw you to Himself in a new way? If so, you too will experience the light that chases away the darkness from your path, know the rest He alone can provide for your soul, and experience the kind of love and delight only found in His presence.

You better believe I’ll be doing this again next year. I can’t wait to turn 41!

Confide in Me is a prayer in the form of a song that I wrote while in the cabin waiting to hear from God. I hope you make it your prayer as well.

For Those Who Quietly Mourn on Mothers Day. -Featuring “Lullaby My Baby” ~Original Music by Shelleen

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While many of us will be celebrating the gift of having and/or being mothers this Mother’s Day, I want to speak to those who mourn quietly in the shadows. For those of you whose mothers have passed away, no matter what your age, loosing a mother leaves a tremendous void. And to those who have known the tragedy of life in reverse, where you, the parent buried your child, just attempting to imagine your heartache is honestly beyond my emotional comfort zone. I personally have had a small glimmer of what that is like. My husband and I cared for our nephew until his passing at age 8, so I have walked that road as an aunt. As difficult as that season in our lives was however, I don’t claim for a minute that it carries the same depth of grief as that of loosing your own flesh and blood.

But today I want to speak to those who, as said above, quietly mourn, or for some of you, even secretly. I know this message may be seen as controversial to some, so let me first say that if you knew me, you would understand that is not my heart. However, I am compelled by the stories of friends in my life, as well as women who have confided in me at my concerts and women’s events, to speak this message of hope. And by the way, for my male readers, there is something here for you as well, so read on if you would.

 

 

As many as one out of every four pregnancies end in miscarriage. I have to put the disclaimer out there that I don’t know this grief personally, but I do know the fear of it due to the pregnancy complications I had with my son. Several years ago, a childhood friend, who in many ways is very much the sister I never had, experienced a miscarriage. She being as precious to me as she is, combined with being a mother myself, caused my heart to break. So many mothers mourn the loss of their unborn children quietly – sometimes with just their husbands; sometimes alone. They are not even able to have the closure of a funeral. In fact, depending on how far along they were in their pregnancy, their circle of friends and family are unaware of their grief. If this is you, stay with me.

There is another group of women who I want to speak to today as well. You are the women who suffer from not only the loss of your unborn child, but also bear a burden of guilt on top of your grief. Some of you are my friends, and others of you have been brave enough to entrust me with your stories although our paths have only crossed once. You tell me that not a day goes by that you are not haunted by the regret of the abortion you had years ago. My heart breaks for you the most, and I pray if you haven’t come to understand that there is nothing you can do to remove God’s love for you, that you begin to seek Him for that understanding today. His death on the cross was for us all, because we are all sinners who fall short of His glory. If you’ve asked Him for it, you are forgiven my friend, and not a smudge of your sin remains before Him. He came to set you free from the bondage of sin, and desperately wants you to walk, even dance in the joy of that freedom.

 

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

~Psalm 103:12 (NIV)

Many of you may be familiar with this verse, but did you ever wonder why the Bible doesn’t say as far as the North is from the South? It’s actually not a random choice of phrase. God’s Words are always filled with intention, and this is a very cool case in point.

Did you ever think about the fact that we have a North and South Pole, but no East Pole or West Pole? The earth is a sphere which turns on it’s axis running from north to south, giving it what is called an east-west continuum. This means we can measure how far the North is from the South. But we have no poles to measure east from west, so there is no measurement for the distance between the two…they have no ending point. They just keep going on…forever. And that’s how far our sins are banished from us when we confess them to God. That is awesome in every sense of the word.

That’s good news for all of us, but here is some more for those of you who resonate with something I have said above. Your child lives. It’s the truth. From the moment of conception, a beautiful human spirit was present in your womb. When our bodies give way here on earth, if we are a child of God, our spirits are taken into Glory. When your child’s earthly body could no longer house his or her spirit, that is exactly what happened, and know this: Someday you will be reunited with that precious one. And what a joyous reunion it will be. There is no sin in Heaven such as unforgiveness or anger on the part of your child (in the case of abortion), and there is no more pain or grief there for you any longer either. Oh how I pray that this will soak in to your souls if any of this applies to you. It does to all of us for one reason or another really. Oh, the precious hope of eternity!

In light of that, my prayer for you is that this Mother’s Day and every day, you can bask in the love of our Savior, experience His healing presence, and know the freedom and joy that defies human understanding that comes through relationship with Him.

The following song is one I wrote for my friend. When she lost her baby, I so desperately wanted to be with her. It was devastating for me not to be there giving her comfort in some way. It derailed me. And when I’m derailed, I write. It was a gift well-received by her, and I believe there are others to whom it can be a small source of healing. Please take a moment and pass this on to them. Let’s make their Mother’s Day a little easier this year, shall we?

Love to each one of you my friends.

Confessions of an Obnoxious Easter Bunny. Featuring “Be Lifted Higher” -Original Music by Shelleen

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You’re about to see one of those pictures that might even be worth more than a thousand words. So brace yourself. For those of you who don’t know, my current home is one of the last two standing in what is now the commercial end of town. Twenty-thousand cars pass by my front yard every day. Turning left out of my driveway can be a real lesson in patience sometimes. It’s not unusual for this Potter County girl who grew up in the sticks to leave tire marks in the grass because I’ve high-tailed it through the back yard, behind a commercial building, and out the alley behind a convenience store, where I can turn right and get to a light bringing me out to the road I couldn’t get on in front of my house. (I know that’s a run-on sentence, but it’s rather fitting I think.)

I tell you this to set the scene, (you’ll see in a minute that I do make one) for my family’s annual hunt for their Easter baskets. I’m a bit of an obnoxious Easter Bunny. Before they can have their first clue hidden in an egg, they have to sing a song I made up about myself. Some of the lyrics are:

“Well she is the Easter Bunny. We’re well aware of all her fame. Even though she is our Mommy, and we know her and her name. She’s the coolest Easter Bunny that has every hopped the plain. Well she is the Easter Bunny, and it’s time to play her game…”

Put those words to the tune of “Do your ears hang low” and if you’re not careful, it’ll get stuck in your head. Before you know it, you too will be singing about what an awesome bunny I am!

Image may contain: 2 people, outdoor

 

Each clue (rhyming, of course) leads to the next egg with another clue, which eventually leads to their baskets full of loot. The loot being the proverbial carrot at the end of the stick (pun intended) that makes them willing to go through such torture. As if their mother dressed as a giant bunny isn’t enough, the bunny often makes them hop to each location, and you can be sure that I always hide at least one egg in the front yard next to the busy road. For the record, my husband refuses to hop…He doesn’t get as much loot in his basket.

So now that you know I’m into the silliness and fun of the holiday, can I point out the obvious? “Holiday” comes from the words Holy and Day. We all know that, but it stands to be said with all the commercialism and crazy bunnies hopping around distracting us from the real reason we celebrate.

To sum it up, the God and Creator of the Universe loved us so much that He entered this cursed world by taking on the nature of a man so that He could be the final sacrifice, atoning for the collective sins of humanity, and giving us the option of trusting Him with our lives and eternity. (No offense on calling it “cursed world”. I love the world God made for us, but it’s really under a curse. Read the book of Genesis.)

So I’ve stated the obvious, but there’s more. Not only did God grant us a means by which we might obtain eternal life with Him in Heaven, but Jesus told us that He came that we might have abundant life. He also said that in this world we would see troubles. So how does that add up?

Before sin entered the world, there was no separation between God and man. And frankly, He missed those garden walks with his creation in the cool of the day. (Again, read Genesis.) God is merciful, yet just in character, therefore, someone must die for our sins. (That would be us.) But God loved us too much to let that happen.

 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.   ~Romans 6:23 (NIV)

Enter Jesus the Son, fully God, taking on the cloak of humanity, a perfect, sinless sacrifice to take our place. Just before Jesus exhaled his last breath, releasing his Spirit into the hands of the Father, He said these words: “It is finished.” Suddenly all kinds of mayhem erupted. It became pitch black even though it was the middle of the day and the very foundations of the earth shook. But something else happened that is extraordinary.

The veil that separated the most sacred inner room of the temple where only the high priest could enter but once a year was thick and woven with mastery. This room behind the veil was where God’s presence resided which was so powerful that they would tie a rope to the ankle of that high priest just in case he would be overwhelmed when he entered and drop dead. The rope would be the only way to get him out. The moment Jesus breathed his last, the Bible tells us that the veil was ripped from top to bottom – torn completely in two by the hands of the Father himself signifying to us that we are now free to boldly approach the very throne of God.

So why are we so timid about that? Sadly wrong theology, teaching, or perhaps scars from our earthly fathers have given so many of us such a distorted image of our Heavenly Father. We are comfortable with Jesus. After all, he walked in our shoes. He became human. But Jesus said that if you’ve seen Him, you’ve seen the Father. (They, Holy Spirit included, are one…something we struggle to grasp.)

I’m grateful for the parable Jesus told about the persistent widow in Luke 18:1-8. This woman wanted justice, and wouldn’t be ignored by a judge who didn’t give a rip about God or mankind. She kept coming back day after day so that finally the judge was so sick of her, he gave attention to her need, and granted her petition.

Jesus tells us that we can approach the throne of The Father with that kind of boldness, knowing that if a calloused judge like that will grant such a request, how much more the God who loved us enough to place our sins on the shoulders of His only begotten Son.

I must confess, I have been that persistent widow of late. There are circumstances in my life that merit the need for me to be on my face before the throne of God in the form of praying without ceasing. I’ve been hammering God with my laments day after day, after week, after month. And I finally got a word from Him. Would you like to know what it is?

 

“Delight in Me.”

What? I’m struggling under the weight of the burdens I’m in need of You to rescue me from, and You say to delight in you? To borrow the phrase, “My tears have been my food”, and you want me to “delight”? But then this passage of Scripture began to flood over my mind:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.   ~Psalm 37:4 (ESV)

Do you know that when we take our eyes off our ugly, sin-infested, jacked-up circumstances, placing them at His feet, and fix our eyes on the Lord, His magnificence is so glorious that we can know delight? The more time we spend in relationship with Him, the more we come to understand that His ways, thoughts, and timing are perfect, and we can trust Him. That trust translates to faith…the mountain-moving kind.

So this Easter, in the midst of all the hub-bub, chocolate, and crazy rabbits, I hope that you not only remember that Christ’s finished work on the cross has given those who accept it, the gift of eternal life with Him, but also the promise of an abundant life here and now in this cursed and chaotic world. The curtain was torn in two, and we have a Father who desires to walk in a delightful relationship with us.

Enjoy my latest song, share this if you feel so inclined, and have a delightful Easter friends.

Somebody needs to hear this… (featuring “Redemption Song” -original music by Shelleen)

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Every time I proof-read over this post I am riding the delete button. God is impressing on my heart that tonight, it is better to let my words be few, and instead allow Him to communicate through the language of music. So I’m breaking all the “blog rules” and resisting the temptation to spew all that wants to bubble out through my fingers; No pretty pictures that will delay me getting out this post either. I feel like someone out there needs it now. God gave me this song ten days ago, and all I want to do is play it. May He speak to you through it as He has me.

p.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section, and I’d be honored if you pass it on…

 

 

 

 

 

About Shelleen

Wife, Mother, Friend, and Daughter
Author, Speaker, Singer, Songwriter
Girdle Bur and Beauty Hunter
Life that's been redeemed
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