While many of us will be celebrating the gift of having and/or being mothers this Mother’s Day, I want to speak to those who mourn quietly in the shadows. For those of you whose mothers have passed away, no matter what your age, loosing a mother leaves a tremendous void. And to those who have known the tragedy of life in reverse, where you, the parent buried your child, just attempting to imagine your heartache is honestly beyond my emotional comfort zone. I personally have had a small glimmer of what that is like. My husband and I cared for our nephew until his passing at age 8, so I have walked that road as an aunt. As difficult as that season in our lives was however, I don’t claim for a minute that it carries the same depth of grief as that of loosing your own flesh and blood.
But today I want to speak to those who, as said above, quietly mourn, or for some of you, even secretly. I know this message may be seen as controversial to some, so let me first say that if you knew me, you would understand that is not my heart. However, I am compelled by the stories of friends in my life, as well as women who have confided in me at my concerts and women’s events, to speak this message of hope. And by the way, for my male readers, there is something here for you as well, so read on if you would.
As many as one out of every four pregnancies end in miscarriage. I have to put the disclaimer out there that I don’t know this grief personally, but I do know the fear of it due to the pregnancy complications I had with my son. Several years ago, a childhood friend, who in many ways is very much the sister I never had, experienced a miscarriage. She being as precious to me as she is, combined with being a mother myself, caused my heart to break. So many mothers mourn the loss of their unborn children quietly – sometimes with just their husbands; sometimes alone. They are not even able to have the closure of a funeral. In fact, depending on how far along they were in their pregnancy, their circle of friends and family are unaware of their grief. If this is you, stay with me.
There is another group of women who I want to speak to today as well. You are the women who suffer from not only the loss of your unborn child, but also bear a burden of guilt on top of your grief. Some of you are my friends, and others of you have been brave enough to entrust me with your stories although our paths have only crossed once. You tell me that not a day goes by that you are not haunted by the regret of the abortion you had years ago. My heart breaks for you the most, and I pray if you haven’t come to understand that there is nothing you can do to remove God’s love for you, that you begin to seek Him for that understanding today. His death on the cross was for us all, because we are all sinners who fall short of His glory. If you’ve asked Him for it, you are forgiven my friend, and not a smudge of your sin remains before Him. He came to set you free from the bondage of sin, and desperately wants you to walk, even dance in the joy of that freedom.
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
~Psalm 103:12 (NIV)
Many of you may be familiar with this verse, but did you ever wonder why the Bible doesn’t say as far as the North is from the South? It’s actually not a random choice of phrase. God’s Words are always filled with intention, and this is a very cool case in point.
Did you ever think about the fact that we have a North and South Pole, but no East Pole or West Pole? The earth is a sphere which turns on it’s axis running from north to south, giving it what is called an east-west continuum. This means we can measure how far the North is from the South. But we have no poles to measure east from west, so there is no measurement for the distance between the two…they have no ending point. They just keep going on…forever. And that’s how far our sins are banished from us when we confess them to God. That is awesome in every sense of the word.
That’s good news for all of us, but here is some more for those of you who resonate with something I have said above. Your child lives. It’s the truth. From the moment of conception, a beautiful human spirit was present in your womb. When our bodies give way here on earth, if we are a child of God, our spirits are taken into Glory. When your child’s earthly body could no longer house his or her spirit, that is exactly what happened, and know this: Someday you will be reunited with that precious one. And what a joyous reunion it will be. There is no sin in Heaven such as unforgiveness or anger on the part of your child (in the case of abortion), and there is no more pain or grief there for you any longer either. Oh how I pray that this will soak in to your souls if any of this applies to you. It does to all of us for one reason or another really. Oh, the precious hope of eternity!
In light of that, my prayer for you is that this Mother’s Day and every day, you can bask in the love of our Savior, experience His healing presence, and know the freedom and joy that defies human understanding that comes through relationship with Him.
The following song is one I wrote for my friend. When she lost her baby, I so desperately wanted to be with her. It was devastating for me not to be there giving her comfort in some way. It derailed me. And when I’m derailed, I write. It was a gift well-received by her, and I believe there are others to whom it can be a small source of healing. Please take a moment and pass this on to them. Let’s make their Mother’s Day a little easier this year, shall we?
Love to each one of you my friends.